


Erurihan Week - Day 3 - History

by Natsu_no_Kami



Series: Erurihan Week [3]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Character Study, Comforting, Erurihan Week, F/M, M/M, sort of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-19
Updated: 2014-08-19
Packaged: 2018-02-13 21:34:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2165976
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Natsu_no_Kami/pseuds/Natsu_no_Kami
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Even if Erwin is sometimes feeling unsure, he would not be left alone with it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Erurihan Week - Day 3 - History

**Author's Note:**

> I really like the idea of Hanji, Erwin and Levi's relationship being based on the diferrences between the three of them. My work for today is set in the original Shingeki no Kyojin universe and I focused on presenting how I think the three of them view their situation in terms of history, which is the theme for today in the Erurihan Week.
> 
> I'll just let you know I had no time for any beta, so sorry for all the mistakes you'll probably notice :)

Erwin Smith was anxious. It was not an usual state for him, and he had no way to deal with it, but at least he could manage not to show anyone how bad he felt on the inside. All day long he made plans, explained what was needed to be explained, hid what was needed to be hidden, and when the night finally came, behind the closed door to his office he tried to forget about his worries, taking care of as much paperwork as it was physically possible.

The work was too repeatable to keep him occupied for long, though, and soon he covered his face with both his hands, and sighed. Being the Commander of the Survey Corps, and one who really wanted and was bright enough to change something, was not easy, and Erwin had to ignore countless accusation and verbal abuses daily, so it was not surprising that sometimes even he allowed himself to doubt, but this time it was more than just that.

He did not cry no matter how many people he’d send to their death, no matter if they were old friends or just kids, did not cry from fear when someone dear to his heart was in danger, never was scared of dying himself, and yet there he was, at the edge of breaking down just because he felt helpless.

No matter how hard Erwin and his people tried, there still were things they just couldn’t do. The people were blind, and he could accept this, the government was doing everything possible to prevent the population from gaining knowledge, and he still could bear with it, but when he thought of how many essential information and how many years of history were erased just because of some anonymous person or people’s whim, he just couldn’t stand it. It was no mistake to say the Survey Corps had succeed in revealing the truth about titan shifters, but with every pitiful piece of information they managed to rip from their enemy, Erwin suffered more, aware there were things that were simply lost forever.

He strongly believed every truth, even one to bring sorrow, was better than being blinded, and it was sometimes hard to live in a world that denied him to know.

His trace of thought was disturbed by an unexpected knock on his door. He straighten his back immediately, and cleared his throat, making sure no signs of his actual state were showing.

„Come in.”

He had no idea who might have decided to pay him a visit, since it was long after midnight and his soldiers were ordered to rest, but could not prevent himself from tensing slightly with anticipation as he wished that at least one of two people capable of helping him realised what was going on and came to see him.

Erwin was luck enough to see both Hanji and Levi coming through the door to his office, but he did not show how glad he was, frowning a little as he regarded them.

„Are you two not supposed to be sleeping?” He asked, making no attempt to send them off, though.

„Is it a direct order?” Hanji replied with a question, smiling widely as she moved closer to the desk behind which Erwin was sitting, and leaned over it, as if she was challenging the Commander.

„As if he’d pull the rank with you right now.” Levi snorted, also taking a few steps into the room after  he closed the door behind him. „He has eyes of a crybaby.”

„Levi.” There was a warning in Erwin’s voice, but his Captain ignored it, returning the gaze that was pointed at him. 

Meanwhile, Hanji managed to push enough of the Commander’s paperwork to the side so that she could sit on the desk without ruining anything. Levi decided to take a seat on the couch that was placed nearby one of the office’s walls, and even though Erwin knew his injured leg must have been causing him pain, there was no trace of it in his movements. Both woman and man were constantly looking at him, not allowing any change in his expression pass unnoticed, and if he did not trust them, he would certainly felt attacked.

„Fine. What brings you two here at such an unusual hour, then?” Even though the blonde was trying his best to act like a person in his position should, the only reaction he received was a roll of Levi’s eyes, and short laugh form Hanji.

Erwin sighed, fully aware he was being ridiculous, since they were long past formalities between the three of them, and he spent several seconds wondering how come could he behaved so childish.

„We won’t be commanded by someone who’s not sure of what we’re doing.” Delicacy was not Levi’s strongest point, and Erwin had to take a deeper breath in order not to allow himself to feel offended.

„And by that he meant…” Hanji nearly sang. „…we’re just checking on you.”

„I’m certain of which course our actions should take.” The Commander said, his voice steady. He was not lying, he had no doubt about what should be done, and that was exactly everything people around him should have known.

„Then what is it, Erwin?” Levi said harshly, his fist tightening.

„And by that he meant he was worried.” The women said, as if Erwin couldn’t understand Levi by himself.

„Cut it, four-eyes.” The small man growled. „I can speak for myself and I want him to unders…”

„That’s enough.” Erwin interrupted and his tone was showing he was more tired than anyone would expect. „Have either of you ever wonder what were humans like before the titans appeared? The lives they had, their worries, whatever made them happy? The poetry they wrote, songs they sang, books they read?”

He slowly look at his small audience, pleased to see Hanji’s dreamy expression as she imagined what he’d described, but, just expected, finding Levi not amused with his speech.

„Your point?” The Captain said, rising an eyebrow.

„It’s all gone now.”

Levi exhaled sharply, and Erwin rapidly turned his face to the other man’s direction, just to see his frown softening.

„Yeah, that’s a pity. Come and sit here with me, won’t you, Commander?”

The blonde found no good answer, so he simply stood up and, after encouraging Hanji with a gesture to follow him, moved closer to Levi and sat beside him.

„Hurry, four-eyes, you have to hug him.” The brunette pushed Hanji onto Erwin’s lap, and she positioned herself so that she was able to comfortably embrace him, but still looked like she was thinking about something very intensely, a look that kind of belonged with her face.

„I’m so devastated to know that we’ll never see what next generations would think of us, once we’ve become the history ourselves.” She finally let them know what was on her mind and her expression was still distant. Erwin felt her arms around him, but Hanji simply wasn’t there, and it made him kind of sad to know that understanding her completely was also out of his reach.

„Oh you two big fools.” Levi sighed, getting both the others’ attention as he moved closer to them, placing his forehead so that it touch Erwin’s bright hair and pulling Hanji closer to connect them all. „They say you are so clever and shit so why can’t you understand that what counts is what we can do now, and neither past nor future mean anything to us?”

Hearing that, the Commander closed his eyes, not even trying to hide the smile that brightened his features. He realised for yet another time that his world might have been hell, and might have done everything to broke him and erase not only the memories of mankind, but also Erwin’s hope for a better life, but it also was what gave him everything he needed to survive, since there was nothing more perfect or worth fighting for than Hanji, with her mind always travelling in places not accessible for ordinary people, and Levi, always able to act under any circumstances. And he knew that even if it was possible to have a normal life and not to lack anything, he still would never manage to be happy without the two people that were embracing him, showing they needed him just as much as he needed them

 

 


End file.
